Ending treatment… By choice

The bad news…

My tumor isn't slowing down in growth. It's slowly growing and no treatment at this point is working. So after a very lengthy discussion with doctors and a few days to think about it, I've decided to stop treatment. I'll still be taking a few medications to help with the pain, but that's it, for now.

I was doing a straight chemotherapy that did not involve radiation treatment because of the stage of my tumor (In fact, radiation treatment will not be an option for me; I'd be lucky at this point if it ever becomes an option). The chemo was supposed to drastically reduce the size of the tumor so that surgical removal of the tumor would have a better chance of happening.

And now due to all this I'm hanging in between Stage 1b and Stage 2a. At this point my cancer can be explained by the TNM system (http://lungcancer.about.com/od/lungcancerstages/a/Lung-Cancer-TNM-Staging.htm). I'm at T1bN0M0. But contrary to what the website says I'm not taking any treatment. 

So now it's a waiting game, that includes a chest scan every week.

I know I said I would be contacting you all individually but it is just easier telling you all through this blog. It's been a hard 2 weeks trying to convince my family that this is the right thing for me to do. If anyone needs some further explanation (or needs to yell at me because they think I'm risking too much) don't hesitate to call or text. I'll definitely get back to you ASAP. 

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And now for some pictures from the past couple weeks.

For some reason this red tailed hawk has actually been hunting on the ground in the old houses backyard.

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Got this awesome care package from Joey H. a few days ago. Beer not included but it is definitely my new go to glass when it comes to drinking great beer.

My aunt/god mother was in town for a few days so we hit the beach. It's hard to not love living in SoCal. 78°F in February.

One of the best posters I've seen in awhile.

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Inspired by David, here's my song of the day: The Letting Go - Mount Moriah

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Would you like the bad news or the bad news?

Telling family has been easy. Of course because of email and social media more family has called to give support and ask questions before I've even had a chance to reach out to them on my own. I love them all so much. 

Everyone has crazy schedules and I like telling people things like this in person. So telling friends, not as easy. It's harder to find the time with friends (who live in the same area) and tell them bad news. But I promise to get to all of you. And for those of you that I cannot meet in person, I will be calling (even if we have to play a little phone tag) to make sure you know.

I'll talk to you all soon. I'm sorry it won't be good news.

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Here are a few photos from the past 2 weeks.

Ike (Eisenhower) and Mac (MacArthur; recently rescued) my older sisters 2 black labs. They're my therapy buddies

Mac is a big dog (110lbs) but he loves to try and convince people he is a lap dog

I've been drinking some really good beer lately. Look these up if you have a chance and want a different taste

After consulting a fellow LEGO fan (Willem) I bought the LEGO Camper Van. It's actually a tough build but definitely worth the money

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